OFFICE HOURS

[didntgetdadslooks]

Got something you want to say to your good friend The Professor's Assistant? Come on in, don't be shy! Her official hours are daylight hours - girl has to sleep? after all, probably - but if you knock on the door at night she'll generally answer. Please just make sure to leave the in-game date and time in the header of your toplevel!

All comments are screened for confidentiality during the course of the experiment.

Comments

[didntgetdadslooks]

[ Angel sighs. ]

No one was too bad. Which was nice, since I wasn't in the best place to have a bunch of people yelling at me.

[fivestagegod]

You weren't. Just imagine how it was going for the people actually being threatened.

[Just saying.

Anyway, wiggles over there has decided it's having enough of being held, so Birkin will just. sit somewhere and put the damn thing in his lap because jesus, yes, he gets it, you're going to ruin all the clothing he has by the end of the week.]

I'm not too in the mood to yell at you over that, seeing as it's not like it's going to matter back home for much longer. If people find out here then that'll suck for me, but it's not like that matters since the damage has already been done.

[didntgetdadslooks]

Trust me, I know. I just don't want anyone to give The Professor a reason to break out Rule Five.

[ She nods. ]

Well, I definitely appreciate you not yelling.

[fivestagegod]

Did you look at them? I'm going to assume you know what's in there for everyone.

[didntgetdadslooks]

The envelopes? I didn't look at them, but I can take a guess as to what most of them are.

[fivestagegod]

I can show you mine, if you want to know. I don't really like people making guesses based on information I didn't give them myself.

[didntgetdadslooks]

If you want, sure.

cw: unethical experimentation, child abuse

[fivestagegod]

[He'll reach into one of his inside pockets, making sure not to displace Wiggles (who is currently exploring the chair and as usual seems utterly disinterested in what's going on); once he's got the envelope he hesitates for a brief moment before passing it over.

William Birkin has been perfecting his research by way of human experimentation and torture for twenty years, with his most recent subjects being the wards of the Raccoon City Orphanage.

He doesn't seem bothered by her seeing it, exactly, just kind of distant.]

It's like you said the first time. I'm not exactly a nice person, you know?

hoo boy here we go

[didntgetdadslooks]

[ God bless Wiggles, who I can only hope will become the Unknown Seas team mascot.

She takes it and reads it over, face not shocked at least. ]

Definitely not something I'd accuse you of. But it doesn't seem like something you'd accuse yourself of, either.

[fivestagegod]

I know better.

[He shrugs a bit.]

I don't regret anything I've done. And I do think it's worth it. But I know what I've had to do to get here and I know it makes me one of the bad guys. I get it.

[didntgetdadslooks]

Then I'm not exactly about to start yelling at you about your secret or anything, no matter how I feel about it.

[ She shrugs. ]

I'm not exactly working for the greatest company in the world, either.

[fivestagegod]

...I really hate to tell you this, but the idea of you yelling at me does not exactly strike terror into my heart. Do what you want. After all, if that gets out here I'm not going to hear the end of it from some of the other assholes in here.

[didntgetdadslooks]

What, you don't think I cut an intimidating silhouette?

[ She nods. ]

I can't think of a lot of people who wouldn't be upset by that, yeah.

cw: more spectacularly unethical experimentation

[fivestagegod]

Yeah, I don't foresee that being too excellent.

[Mm.]

Not that it makes it any better, but I kind of inherited Lisa. She was the first test subject Al and I got, but she'd been there since before either of us were... [...] ...Well, before I was signed on, anyway. He was there longer than me. But either way, she was just sort of given to us, it's not like it's all been fucking over orphans and shit.

[didntgetdadslooks]

[ Angel holds her hands up a little, just for a bit. ]

Look, at the end of the day I'm not the one whose opinion of you you're going to have to worry about, but I do sympathize with inheriting weird stuff at a job.

[ Sort of... gestures around. ]

[fivestagegod]

And at the end of the day, I did tell you that if we have to deal with your bullshit, you're going to have to deal with mine. The difference here is that you had a fucking choice in doing all of this.

I don't think you fucking get that you're going to be complicit in a whole lot of murder. But hey, it's worth it if a bunch of strangers die so you can see the outside world, right?

[didntgetdadslooks]

[ Angel sighs, and takes a sip of her drink. ]

I'm not stupid enough to think after The Professor started dropping motives on you guys that there won't be murder. I kinda hoped last week, but now I know that's not happening. If he keeps going, someone's going to crack. My job has changed from "try to keep everyone happy" to "try to keep as many of you alive as I can, if I can, while the number of things I can do shrinks," really freaking quickly, because there are some big questions I didn't think to ask up front.

You're right, though - people are going to die, and I'm going to have to sit in here and let it happen. That's the consequence of the choice I made, even if I didn't see it when I made it.

[fivestagegod]

Oh, will you give it a break already? I don't give a shit about how much of a victim you think you are, or how many stupid bitches you think you deserve to have believe you're a little lost lamb that wouldn't hurt a soul but simply can't do anything to help. You choose to sit in here and let this happen. You don't have to do shit.

[didntgetdadslooks]

Alright, then. Where do you think I should start? Say you were stuck with some pretty serious restrictions on your actions, and you knew that if you got killed or taken off the project, they'd just find someone else to send in? And so you had to sit behind a desk and try to help a bunch of people in this situation infer the solutions to their problems? Maybe I'm not some poor innocent lamb, but I sure as hell wouldn't be sitting back here if I had as much of a choice in all this as you think I do.

[ She grimaces a little, as if in pain, then settles down from the admittedly small display of anger. ]

Look, we can hang out here and swap terrible things we've done all night if you want, I'm fine with that. My list isn't quite as long as yours, but I'll figure something out. But if you want something approaching help, here's my official offer that at any time we can get back to that instead.

[fivestagegod]

Lady. If you want my honest to God opinion on this, you're not going to fucking like it. But there's a reason duress isn't a defense for murder, and that reason is that it's better to die yourself than to do anything that's going to end in you taking lives. Am I someone who should be giving anybody a goddamn ethics lesson? Probably not. But I've done it before, and in places a lot less nice than this.

You've always got goddamn options, even if you don't like them. My options were defend my life's work and die, which I went ahead and decided to do, or keep being used by those people I owe. Knowing that, I think you can see where I don't have a lot of sympathy for this "oh, if I die I'll just be replaced by someone else" crap. Yeah, of course you will. But if you want to keep pretending you're a good person in all of this, you'd find a way to make sure that the person complicit in all of this isn't you.

[didntgetdadslooks]

You're just going to have to forgive me for thinking that jumping on the chance to fall on the sword isn't the ideal Plan A. I'd like to know sacrificing myself actually gets something done - if that's selfish because I'm not out there throwing myself in front of the first knife someone else chooses to take out, then fine. But even if it's not the choice you want, remember that you guys all do have the choice to not kill each other here.

[fivestagegod]

Did you or did you not just ask for exactly what you received just now.

[Like, seriously.]

I personally don't give a fuck what you do. You're the one insisting on sitting here playing victim. Do you actually listen to yourself when you say things? Literally everything you've been saying is phrased like you're a good person who made a few mistakes, and now you're being made to suffer by having to watch other people die. Which would be fine and all if you weren't doing that particular whining to the people actually on the chopping block.

We're the ones expected to actually sacrifice ourselves for someone else here. Great that you get to choose to die when you think it's meaningful enough, but we don't get that fucking luxury. Think before you open your mouth.

[didntgetdadslooks]

You expressed your opinion. I'm responding with mine. If you just want to lecture me about morality, please say so, but I'm not under any obligation to sit here saying "You're right, I agree with the things you're saying about the morality of my actions." A conversation means the other person gets to talk too, buddy.

By your own logic, none of you are actually under any obligation to kill each other - after all duress isn't an excuse for murder, right? I came down here to try to keep people from killing each other in an exercise the guy who saved my life was going to be running, something I was told was a perfectly valid result in that experiment, and now the board has shifted and I don't have my next step yet. You don't have to give a shit as much as I don't have to give a shit about what you're saying, but I'm trying to talk to you. But please, sit around complaining about my phrasing some more and then insisting you don't care what I do, it's really productive.

[fivestagegod]

You are still not listening to yourself. At this point I want to see how far you can take this poor precious baby mentality, because it's actually getting impressive?

None of us are under any obligation to kill, but you know realistically that someone's going to, if only because they're stupid enough to believe the bullshit about a lack of end date. I actually don't think that's genuine, for what it's worth, though I haven't figured out how he intends this to end yet.

[didntgetdadslooks]

And you're apparently not listening to me if you think that's all I've been saying this whole conversation. You don't have regrets about the bad things you've done... I get it, you don't care. You've said it a lot of times tonight. But I've literally copped to having fucked up in this exact conversation and explained my reasoning for why I did. If you don't like that, then... I just don't know what you're looking for from me here, because you're not going to get some kind of admission that I'm secretly also as into making bad choices as you seem to be.

[ She shrugs. ]

I'm not allowed to confirm or deny, and I sure as hell don't feel like breaking that rule for you right now.