OFFICE HOURS

[didntgetdadslooks]

Got something you want to say to your good friend The Professor's Assistant? Come on in, don't be shy! Her official hours are daylight hours - girl has to sleep? after all, probably - but if you knock on the door at night she'll generally answer. Please just make sure to leave the in-game date and time in the header of your toplevel!

All comments are screened for confidentiality during the course of the experiment.

Comments

[didntgetdadslooks]

Why do something yourself when you can manipulate someone else into it, I guess. That's the psychologist part of "criminal psychologist," I guess.

[fivestagegod]

That is...not inspiring a whole lot of confidence, but I can't say I blame him for taking that route if others are willing to do the work.

[Not that this whole thing isn't a yike and a half anyway.]

So how morbid of a question are you willing to answer, anyway? Assuming I'm not asking you to break any of your stupid rules, since you've already said you're not going to break those for me and we're clearly both in a great mood today.

[didntgetdadslooks]

Shoot and we'll find out, I guess.

[ ... there's in fact a slight undercurrent of "yeah, buddy?" under the affected exasperation, because like..... this is the man calling whatever comes next morbid ]

[fivestagegod]

[I mean, it is objectively a morbid question.]

Do you know what all of our executions look like, or are you just as surprised as the rest of us?

[didntgetdadslooks]

[ oh, well that's at least not a question about autopsies or something. ]

The Professor is in charge of everything about the trials. He designs the executions without any input from me.

[fivestagegod]

Well, damn.

[He says, flippantly.]

It's not like knowing would have any impact on whether or not I'm going to kill anyone, because if I end up going that way I intend to get away with it. But in case something stupid and beyond my control happens, I'm kind of curious about who's going to be fucking me up after it's all over, you know? It could be any number of people. Marcus. Annette. The whole goddamn Umbrella Corporation firing squad. Maybe he'll let Al do it. Who knows.

[didntgetdadslooks]

Whoever or whatever he thinks will make you most upset, if I had to guess. He's big on making it... poetic or whatever.

[fivestagegod]

[...You know, that actually gets him to pause in his folding for a moment and just kind of...stare at the blank space about three inches in front of his face? Like he's actually having to consider that for a moment.]

...I'm not sure what I hate most about this, but it's probably the part where I'm legitimately not sure which of those would do it. I'm not even trying to get sympathy for that, like my life is terrible or anything, because it's not. I just have no idea whether any of that would actually upset me, and now is really not the time for me to decide to do some goddamn soul-searching to see what the fuck is broken in there now.

[didntgetdadslooks]

[ Angel tries to start... folding some origami herself? Maybe? It's oragami-ish. ]

Well... as someone without much of a life to draw on as far as I know, I'm sure I don't know. And yeah, yeah, poor me or whatever, but the amnesia's actually medical.

[ She looks over. ]

That said... might be best not to think about it, then.

[fivestagegod]

[Right, back to folding because fuck that, honestly.]

...So I'm going to be even more tactless than usual, but given the fact that someone appears to have drilled straight into your skull like they thought they'd hit black gold, I'd be more surprised if you had all your memories.

[didntgetdadslooks]

[ She gives a single humorless laugh. ]

When The Professor found me, I was like this, had no memories, and could barely walk. Trauma-based amnesia, I guess, over who or whatever the heck did this to me.

[fivestagegod]

Kinda surprised they let you live, honestly. Amnesia or not, there's a reason I killed everyone involved with the G-virus.

[...]

Well, outside of Annette, obviously, but she's different. Never tested on her.

[didntgetdadslooks]

Maybe whoever did this cared about me in their own... weird way.

[ well ooc that just felt bad to type about handsome jack ]

[fivestagegod]

[...i just buried my face in my hands and made a really terrible noise, so. yes.]

That's getting into "whatever helps you sleep at night" territory, but hey, maybe. I never did any weird shit to people I cared about, but I know plenty of people who did. But then, we obviously weren't too concerned about morals and all that fun stuff, either.

[didntgetdadslooks]

Yeah, well... I guess "at least some of your contemporaries weren't working on me" can carry me enough through helping me sleep at night.

[ like she's read his file and uh. from descriptions alone, Yikes. ]

But yeah. When I say The Professor saved my life... that's what I'm talking about.

cw: mention of doing horrible shit to kids, as birkin does

[fivestagegod]

[this man is ostensibly doing his best to help as many people as possible get out of here alive

this man also literally melted the face off an orphan

it was an accident but he's not precisely sorry

morals really aren't a thing he takes into consideration, is what i'm saying]

So was it worth it? Exchanging that for all of this. Promise I'm not going to yell at you if you tell me it was.

[didntgetdadslooks]

[ Angel shrugs. ]

Don't know. The Professor described some parts of it, but even he doesn't know why I'm like this. But even if it's selfish, I'd rather not be 85 pounds of skin and bones, I think.

[fivestagegod]

Believe it or not, I'm not entirely against self-preservation. Hell, I thanked the guy for bringing me here just because being here means I'm not bleeding out on the floor.

Wouldn't recommend that, by the way. The whole dying thing. Not the best experience I've ever had.

[He's pretty sure he wasn't dead when he was brought here, he last remembers actually thinking stuff and he's pretty sure he heard Annette come in, but he was a bit too preoccupied with the whole...everything else to really care much about it.]

[didntgetdadslooks]

I'm not planning on trying it if I can help it. End of the day, I guess I would rather be alive than not.

[ ....this is one hell of a conversation to have while folding origami ]

[fivestagegod]

Yeah, well. Lucky you, getting to make that choice at the expense of us getting to, I guess.

[Because he hasn't thrown nearly enough shade at you in a while.]

I get it, though. And hey, it's not like I can complain too much - if people weren't really enthusiastic about staying alive, I'd be out of a job. Literally, given what my life's work does.

[...Mm.]

Did your little savior ever tell you about that? The sort of stuff I've been creating?

[didntgetdadslooks]

[ Ah, the shade. She'll almost miss it if he goes and gets himself killed. ]

There's some stuff about it in here. No pictures or... excerpts from your research papers or anything, but.

[fivestagegod]

You probably don't want pictures. The end results are nasty even by my standards, which I imagine is telling you everything you need to know.

That's what was in the case I was asking you about, incidentally. G-virus samples. I should actually have two more than what was just in the case, but...

[He shrugs.]

Let's just say there was a reason I was asking what was done to me before I got here. Because I'm pretty sure I was thinking about doing something due to the whole dying thing. Something way over on the stupid side of things.

[didntgetdadslooks]

You're G-Virus free right now, as far as I know. It's all back where we took you from. Even if the machine tried to bring it in, something like that even The Professor would probably return to sender.

[fivestagegod]

No, I...get the feeling we'd all know by now if I weren't. G works pretty fast, and it's not really something you can turn off once it gets going - though I guess it's good to know it's not just dormant or something, because that was why I was trying to discourage bloodletting as a solution this past weekend.

[the idea of setting off his healing response with anything had potential to be super-ugly if that was the case?]

[didntgetdadslooks]

Oh... yeah, that makes sense.

[ No One Needs That... ]

Unless you were infected without knowing about it before coming here, you shouldn't be infected now.